Things I say to my darling girl

So the tot that I may need to induce has driven me nuts. Jean and Audrey always encourage me to talk to her and I've been doing it regularly ever since the check up. Things I say:

1) Baby, dun eat so much inside, u wanna eat, come out then eat! Placenta processed food not as tasty u knw!

2) Baby, when u come out, mommy buy u Happy Meal and gt toy somemore!! Umbilical cord not as fun as Happy Meal toy!

3) Baby, TAF club = FAT club. girls cannot be fat. girls must be slim n chio n smart. so can get free meals, free branded bags, free rides home and smart enuf nt to get cheated!! they shld nt be TAF club potential!

4) Baby, faster come out naturally so u can wear nice clothes n look pretty not like nw inside the womb all wet and wrinkly!

5) Baby be good, when u come out pls do it quick ok! Mommy and daddy will bring u go Macdonalds eat the choco sundae!! Very delicious!!

I hope she understands. =p